I think you are looking at two different problems. First, the wheel is inadequate. It is only a 32 spoke wheel with 2.0mm spokes. That’s not a very strong wheel even for someone a hundred pounds less than you. Your size...height...also puts more stress on the wheels than someone shorter. Your long legs put down a lot of power. That’s a lot of stress on the spokes and those spokes aren’t the best. As others have said, you should look into either having a wheel built or built one yourself. Go to at least a 36 spoke hub and use a spoke like the DT Swiss Alpine III. It has a thicker head and is stronger. Go read this article for details. The spokes are available through Quality Bicycle Products (QBP) so if you have a shop build it, they can get the spokes because QBP is the major wholesaler in the US. I build all my wheels with this spoke and have had 20 years of success with them.

The other problem is probably unrelated to the wheel problem. I suspect that your derailer hanger is bent. It allowed the derailer to hit the spokes. The replaceable hanger should have broken before the derailer got damaged. But stuff happens. On a positive note, the hanger is meant to break before the frame does.

I don’t agree that the bike isn’t made for your weight. The rear wheel isn’t adequate but the bike itself is fine. Nor has the shop done you a disservice. The manufacturer and the bike culture of minimizing weight at the expense of strength has but not the bike shop. Work with them and see if they can get you a better wheel. QBP will build a wheel in just about any configuration you want. It won’t be cheap...starting at about $150... but you can have one that is strong.