@ Velonomad, i salute you sir and agree 110%! Well put.
@ Cabana. My sincere condolances and sympathy though i do think you are better of, good riddance i say! To weigh your options and do things like your ex & "friend" did, well it is possibly she didn't mean it to happen or in a bad way but i find it (very) distastefull and dishonorable. Regardless of how you chose to live your life i just think it is not on. 'Everybody thinks it is a good idea if i move in with him' WTF? Makes me a little sick.
If been in a similair situation (minus the running of with friend) once though, and i don't consider it a waste of time. We did have some great, great times as well and i learned heaps about what i want out of life. I could not have been the partner or person i am today without that experience. So maybe if you learn from it and manage to find a girl that suits you because you now know what you want,.. it will be something ultimately positive.
If i could give you one piece of advice,.. never buy a 'nice home' instead look into building your own eco home. I have spoken of this on BF before and write about it on my page extensively. I !garantuee! you that for between US 5.000 up to US 35.000 you can have your own beautifull home and not play the 'my life belongs to the bank' or the 'i am going to make a killing by selling a basic good -my house- for way too much money to a poor schmuck that will become a bank slave' games!
The story about the elderly paper boy, a good one it is, but don't some of you people think that it is the consumer and 'make a killing with whatever you can' culture that has partially put that man in that bind... Sodd all that i say.
@ Some of the posters, judge not lest you be judged..! But to proceed and give my (judgemental?) take:
I will never have kids, because i got sterilized at a young age, i will almost certainly not marry and if i do it will be with a Pre Nup for sure baby! Me keeping my own goods that amount to little means Zilch for you monkey woman!!!
(i don't mean all women of course).
That is not to say i am not commited, i am seeying about relocating to Spain with my velobabe to better live our live simply, indefinately. I feel like i am married already in some ways, i will do my utmost to not forsake my girl and to make sure we are both comfortable.
But i am willing to do this because she is willing to put in the effort too and because she respects me for who i am and what i do and don't do, not because of the material goods i can offer her. Plus it works both ways, she is self supported, has her own rental and her common sense, pride and feminism would not allow it to be any other way. Plus she can cycle circles around me!
So yes those women are out there too and the golddiggers will naturaly lose out to them. They may get some bling and a "nice" divorce settlement but they will be likely be ultimately alone or in a vapid relationship.
I will never succumb to pressure and not live relatively simply or -horror of horrors- do a job i hate for a long time in order to finance superficial dumb products for my girlfriend or in order to give her some false sense of security. What kind of creepy egocentric woman can be content if her man is really suffering at his job for her sake...?
I'd rather take a shotgun blast to the face! I'd rather disembowl myself with a rusty blunt spoon!! I'd rather.... Wel you get the picture.
Instead i will vow to try and use my free time and positivity (that i beget partially due to living simply) to be a good person with things of substance to offer to my peers and girlfriend.
I must admit some of the outmoded ways of thinking and harsh comments would have enraged me in the past, now i just counts my blessing for not being that way and that i don't suffer people with those notions lightly and definately not take them for a partner.
Not to say i don't respect people's right to live their life in any way they choose or to voice opinions that i may find distastefull.. But i did want to speak out in support of the OP. Perhaps he should have fought harder for her or made some adjustments, perhaps not. But i find nothing in his words that warranted such selfish and calculating treatment at the hands of his ex and so called friend.