A 24 hole conventional hub would most likely not work for the reasons you state, but a 32 hole one likely would. The right flange is 16 holes, the same as the existing hub. It's hard to tell if the right side spoke holes are uniformly spaced, but even if they aren't, they look to be within 1mm worth of spoke length of being uniform, which may be within the adjustment range available on the spoke threads. The flange diameter and offset look to be pretty typical and have a relatively weak effect on spoke length anyway. The left spokes of the original hub spaced in between pairs of the right spokes, as are all the left spokes of a 32 hole hub, so picking the appropriate 8 holes out of the 16 available would put those spokes in the right place.

But as I said, this is something I would only do for the sake of proving it possible. Finding somebody with a bent rim would be great, but I wouldn't hold my breath. I'd expect the forces that could bend a rim would pull out the left spokes of the wheel too. That said, crashes do have a way damaging things in ways you'd never imagine, so maybe there is a match out there.