My point is that with nearly all real life mechanics stuff, to learn actual real world "tightness" or "looseness", you 've got to be shown in real life what "good" feels like.
And you do have to have a certain amount of real life mechanical experience or at least inclination. I've shown people I know how to do stuff and it's promptly forgotten and or they continually repeat over or under tightening.
heck,I've screwed up doing stuff so many times it still makes me laugh.
all I'm saying is that interwebs mechanic teaching ain't really practical, have someone show you headset adjustment in person, it takes 10 seconds and hopefully you pick up on the feel for proper adjustment.
Sounds like it is time for someone to pick out the right Park Tools youtube video again.