At the risk of causing more selection paralysis, you needn't limit yourself to steel bikes. Aluminum is generally a better material for heavier riders because the manufacturers can add material to reinforce the frame without a significant weight penalty. Steel frames, unless they are the 'tank' variety you said you wish to avoid, are generally less durable than aluminum, in my experience. When Kona had a 'Clydesdale specific' series of bikes called the 'Hoss' they had aluminum frames exclusively.
My career in bike shops spanned the era of lightweight steel (late 80s to mid 90s) up to the time that the industry transitioned almost entirely to aluminum (early-mid '00s), and my observation was that incidents of frame failure decreased with the popularity of aluminum frames.
All that being said, the steel bikes listed above are probably all good choices. A Surly, specifically, will probably be the stiffest and most robust frame you can find, but there is a weight penalty... not enough that it should really matter to us larger cyclists, but they are noticeably heavier than comparable aluminum bikes, and even than many other steel bikes.