to add some more detail on my personal vision/dream

Mission statement: the one bike if I had to do bikes = N where N = 1, ride all day, commute, deal with some degree of not perfect roads, do a triathlon, even if slowly (ok probably dreaming there)
Preferred builder: Dave Kirk
Steel frame/fork both custom with room for 32mm tires (enough to do gravelish roads), eyelets for fenders and rear rack (for bad weather, commuting and super light credit card 2-3 day tours, 68mm BSA BB, Threaded fork, chris king head set Bright to the level of obnoxious paint
would do Nitto seat post, stem and bars (noodle 44)
Ultegra mechanical group (with different brakes to cover the 32 mm tires, unless go disk)
Brooks Swift saddle
My leaning is to rim brakes rather than disk, seems disk are more fiddly, especially if you take wheels off and on, but would really like input from people who have done both
My leaning is to ultegra or durace hubs, 32 spoke rims, tubular vs clincher TBD. hubs is another area where I would value input