I can't wait until we are all required by law to talk like this....


Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best
politically-correct wishes for an environmentally-conscious,
socially-responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral
celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most
enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of
your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or
traditions of others or their choice not to practice religious or
secular traditions at all . . . and a fiscally-successful,
personally-fulfilling, and medically-uncomplicated recognition of the
onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2003, but not without due
respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply
that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the
only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the
race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of
computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee. (By accepting
this greeting, you agree to the following terms. This greeting is
subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with
no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the
wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or
others, is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole
discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected
within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year,
or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes
first, and the warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or
issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.