Great thread title; someone's going to do a web search on 'methamphetimine addiction' and wind up here.
Last year I had a creaking noise coming from somewhere underneath me (on the bike, smart-aleck). It only happened when I was putting weight on the pedals, so I just knew it had to be the BB. Fortunately, before I tore it apart I was riding and happened to stand up on the pedals. No more creak; it was my arse on the leather saddle.