I am still incurring the wrath of my wife for letting my, probably 10 year old daughter watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Of course, for those of us not so well versed in the high tech you could use a coping saw. Or even a foot powered version.
How about a minstrel to follow you around like Brave Sir Robin.
I ride on a path that is used as a bridal path (for horses). People also walk, jog and run on it. I have a ding bell and when I use it, it seem that I startle people. This Trotify might be just the thing. Perhaps the occasional horse might be ok with me riding my bike too.