For the Birdy you need the version 135mm wide quick release 5mm 32H QR5 XD/XDR 3T black / 119455

For the derailleur, for instance this SRAM upgrade kit that contain the derailleur, the chain and the 10-36t cassette (you need to add a battery and charger not included in the kit) there is the same kit in SRAM Rival and Red.

And this SRAM controller it comes from the MTB range Eagle but all AXS elements are compatible.