This seems like a weird conclusion. If the cyclist (whom you describe as "obviously not a cyclist") was wearing a helmet, he still would've ended up in the exact same situation - face planting, having the bike hit him (again, in the face), getting back up and riding away uninjured, and then later reading about how someone laughed at him on the internet. A helmet doesn't prevent any of that.

What problem are the gloves supposed to solve here?