I haven't read all the posts, but my best advice is just to compete with yourself. Try to improve every event, and track your own progress.

A female rider (27yo) from my area did the same event as you. She was a swimmer in college, and is becoming a monster on a bicycle. Her weakness is her run. On the bike portion, she averaged 22.9mph (fastest woman), and had an overall time for the event of 1:09:32 (6th place for all women). She's kind of a beast.