When subjective experience contradicts engineering prediction, then the engineering usually missed something.

I’ve swapped enough bars to know the difference is real.

And riding metal vs CF frames (especially road/gravel frames), the difference in feel is unmistakable to anyone.

That fact that you can’t explain it does not mean it does not exist.

Of course the assuption here is that the CF has been designed properly. But in my experience with reputable CF products, they generally are.