Here goes:

- When I was about 16 or so I was going down my parents gravel driveway which is a pretty steep hill so I was on the brakes. Anyway someone drove by and waved so naturally I waved back, started to lose control and mashed the front the brake and went right over the bars. Suprisingly my ego hurt a lot more than the gravel stuck in my hands and forearms.

- For a while, I was riding in yellow tennis shoes on platforms(not even toe clips), white socks, black lycra shorts, a baggy white t-shirt, and a red helmet. I encountered a pretty good looking woman at a stop light while wearing this. I don't think she was digging it because she dropped me on the next hill while on a full time trial frame while staying seated and in the aero bars while I had to stand in one of my lowest gears.

- A couple weeks later I was passed going down the same hill by a guy on a fixie.

- Once I was riding on the sidewalk and it made 90 degree turn at one point. I tried to cut it by going into the grass but there was about a 3" jump from the ground to the concrete so my front wheel hit, stoped and I slow motion endoed at like 3 mph. Everbody around looked and then went back about their business like it was just a regular occurence.

- I saw a guy about 1/4 mile, maybe a half mile, ahead of me so I decided to chase him down. I ended up catching him after like 5 miles of flats. When I finally caught him, I was pretty pumped untill I turned and it was this 70+ year old guy on a really old steel frame hardly spining. He gave a smug look like "yeah, you're the next Lance Armstrong, I mean it only took 5 miles to pass me." That was a nice reality check.

- Okay, last one. One of my first times on a trainer I hoped off but forgot the bike was up an extra 3 inches or so and crotched the top tube. Needless to say, my "boys" were not happy about that.