Originally Posted by Bald Paul

The industry could develop a special "dropper" seatpost with an electronic locking device that would prevent movement when it detects the correct radio signal code from a microchip imbedded in the padding of your cycling shorts. When a thief grabs your bike and attempts to ride away, the saddle drops down because it doesn't see the correct chip, causing the hypodermic needle hidden in the seatpost to enter the thief's buttocks, injecting a sufficient quantity of cyanide solution to assure the thief doesn't get far, and has no chance of becoming a repeat offender.

Hint: check the battery in your shorts often.