Maxed at 3NM with no positive sense that there's solid binding going on I'd say there's a bad match in size down where things are supposed to be snugged up once proper torque has been applied to the star nut on top.

You put a mic to the OD bits down inside?
Know the ID of the tube you're trying to get a grip in?
Trust the folks who sold you the new headset to put the right stuff on?