internet forums are the worst place for pissing contests.... which is why i would say it was unwise of you to look for approval here.

don't view cycling or fitness in general as a competition. make YOU be your own competition. there's always gonna be someone faster or more fit than you.... and there will always be someone you're better than. when you see things from this perspective, you can pat your OWN back, and push your OWN self harder at the same time.

There is pure joy to be found in riding for its own sake... I hope that you will find this joy too.