Oh boy here I go:

I fell over twice in clipless
- once while talking to my wife, she was in our car and met me at a store, I pulled up
to the drivers side, tried to grab ahold of the door frame and sloooowly fell over .
She tried to catch me but was laughing too hard.
- second one was at a light, female jogger watched me slooowly fall over to the side
I didn't clip out fast enough at the light. I DO NOT try to track stand...ever.

Because I was too cheap to buy a set of panniers I strapped a backpack to the top of my rear rack. Thing came undone, caught up in the back wheel while I was doing 30kph, I skidded for a good 100 feet.
I now have panniers.

Quite a few years ago, when I got a bike with a front QR I was riding along and said to myself "Gee that QR looks loose" so I pull up on my front handle bars to check.....yup, it was loose.

Eating an apple while riding, one hand on the apple, one on the handlebar, bike hits a small crack in the road, wobbles to the right, hits the gravel shoulder that just had new gravel added and was soft, front tire digs in....over I go. Never found the apple...
Sucks too, it was a 'honey snap', damn tasty.

Flipped over the handlebars on my MTB bike, going downhill, used the front brake too much.

That's about it, so far.