Wax is the optimum chain lube, of course (see previous discussions). The one teeny-tiny imperfection is the chain rust issue. So someone needs to develop a way to redistribute the wax to continue to provide perfect lubrication while enhancing waterproofness. Sounds like a job for Rube Goldberg.

It's obvious that a small propane torch could be used to reheat the wax while pedaling. However, it would need a heat shield to protect the frame paint, and it must be carbon. It's well known that solid rocket nozzles are carbon-carbon matrix, chosen for their light weight and heat resistance. So let's start with a propane torch on the top of the front derailer, with a carbon-carbon shield attached to the inside. (Note a chain keeper can be substituted for the derailer if the bike uses a 1X shifting system.) The propane tank can sit inside the seat tube. On a steel bike, you would need to remove the seatpost to recharge the propane, but on a non-round seat tube, just build some additional fiber matrix around an access port. Next, you don't want the flame going all the time, so you'll need to build a new, improved, custom dyno bottom bracket to sense when the user is actually pedalling. This is wired to an igniter upstream of the torch's nozzle. The faster you're pedaling, the higher the temperature needs to be, so the valve passes more gas for a bigger flame the faster you pedal. An upgrade will be available in a few years using a wireless system with more batteries for the valve and new custom BB.

It sounds fantastic, doesn't it? But way back when you could light your way home with primitive dyno lights and still shift gears with a twist actuator and cables, who would have believed you could charge or replace six batteries on a headlight, tail light, front and rear shifters and derailers to do the same thing? And with the New and Improved Wax Warmer (trademark pending), you can do the same thing to your chain as a wet oil with Clean Chain Wax!