Finally got the Dodge towed to a mechanic. Fingers crossed.
It turned out to be SO SIMPLE that I feel stupid for putting it off. This happens all the time with anxiety-driven avoidant behavior, unless what you're putting off is something that gets much, much worse if you put it off. Then you feel REALLY stupid for putting it off. But, if emotions always yielded to logic, the self-help and counseling industries would never have existed.
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"Don't take life so serious-it ain't nohow permanent."
"Everybody's gotta be somewhere." - Eccles