Sage advice from someone here on BF: "You sit on a seat, You straddle a saddle."
Saddles are not chairs. They are not intended to be super luxuriously comfortable; Merely "not uncomfortable." They are intended to be used with a chamois. The common denominator to all your discomfort is you and the absence of a chamois.
Find a chamois that works for you, put it on the best saddle found so far and go ride. Harden up your sit bones. You'll be fine. I promise.
The Specialized RBX shorts (non-SWAT) are on sale for $30USD
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I shouldn't have to "make myself more visible;" Drivers should just stop running people over.
Car dependency is a tax.