You and your body are the best and only relevant judge of proper stem length. The experts told Cinderella her shoes were too small, and that worked out, so feel free to ignore the opinions of everyone who isn't there and/or qualified to give you specific fit advice.
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Chain-L site
An ounce of diagnosis is worth a pound of cure.
Just because I'm tired of arguing, doesn't mean you're right.
“One accurate measurement is worth a thousand expert opinions” - Adm Grace Murray Hopper - USN
WARNING, I'm from New York. Thin skinned people should maintain safe distance.