It sounds like you have the wrong saddle or really like pressure points. Get a good saddle and if you are doing padding make sure it is nice and firm so you don't sink in too much and make sure it is properly adjusted for you in height, setback or forward and angle (and not too much otherwise you put more pressure on your hands and wrists or slide back on the saddle). Find a good pair of shorts, my butt has been happy in Gore and Pactimo generally but I am trying some other stuff soon but your butt could be different. Then ride some more and get used to riding and let your butt get used to things. The first few longer rides might not be the most comfortable but getting used to a saddle and riding can take a little bit of time.

Those super thick ultra padded saddles and a bunch of bibs sounds like something I would do if I was riding a mile once in a blue moon not if I wanted to ride regularly. I know if I haven't ridden in a while my first few rides aren't going to be as good but then my butt is like hey we know this we are good, everything is fine, especially if I have put on my Bike Glide which I never ride without. However if my saddle is not adjusted for me it won't be comfortable and nothing I do beyond adjusting it for my body will make it comfortable. Going thicker and thicker just causes more issues but proper adjustment helps greatly and you may find a saddle is just not right even after adjustment and that is when you go to your local shop or your local fitter and you say hey this is what I am noticing while riding on this saddle and they can help you find a better one or in the case of the fitter they can help you adjust your current saddle so you can try it again and make sure it is wrong.