Sounds like you want an endurance bike for the fit. Every manufacturer makes one so there are lots of choices. Most people like to pick from the top 3 manufacturers but for value you can look at bikes such as Felt, Scott, Jamis and Salsa. If you are saving and waiting, the fall/winter is a good time to purchase last years bikes. For the record I don't find electronic shifting gimmicky, but mechanical shifting is probably the way to go for you. You keep your bikes for a long time, so why introduce problems that may or may not happen.
Speaking of gimmicky, I purchased a Trek Domane five years ago and it has ISO speed front and rear. It was the most comfortable bike I have ever ridden, I loved it. Then the front ISO speed started causing problems with my handling and now it is unsafe to ride. Now I have regrets but I did get five years out of it.
As much as carbon is a wonder material, don't rule out aluminum for the frame. When you go with a tire with more volume, then frame material becomes less important, comfort wise. I am partial to carbon wheels because they are definitely lighter and the prices are getting lower and lower.
I would chose a bike using three criteria.
- Endurance fit
- Proven reliability over the long term
- Price
The last thing, don't overthink it, it's just a bicycle. Choice paralysis is just something that isn't worth it. Have fun riding.