I have very similar issues with hands., shoulders and spine. I have done a lot of experimenting with cockpit set up. I have 3 different Velo-Orange handlebars now in use: Porteur, Left Bank, and Tourist handlebars.
For me, it's a matter of trial and error to get right.
While, all the given advice is good, seems sensible, your own physical and mental quirks will likely take numerous adjustments, done in small increments, to nail it. Think about what exactly does not feel just right, and what might fix it, then try one change at a time.
Also, keep in mind, often a change feels good, initially, simply because it's different, then doesn't work so well after some time and miles.
The pursuit of perfection can itself be the problem. You never quite get there, but there is always a bit of "as good as it is going to get" involved.