Originally Posted by
kcjc

Use one of these.
That's the (as some say) "annoying" alternative to the "four candle" in post #12.
I find it helpful to orient this tool so my fingers can pass through the chainring to stabilize it. The tightening (or loosening) torque is applied only by the Allen key in the male connector. Only enough pressure need be applied to keep the tool from jumping out of the female connector; there's no pain involved.