All that sounds quite mad.

I have hot-waxed chains for a very long time, using rotation. When cleaning the bike (not all that frequently), I swap the chain. That takes a couple of minutes. I'm happy.

Were I on a tour that went so long that I needed to lube, I'd use White Lightning. I'd be happy.

Honestly, this has been interesting and, though I've done it for ages, I've had the most takeaways from cyccommute and phughes. Thank you both.

All that said, all y'all got nothing on motorcyclists when it comes to chain lube. That's a different animal, though, as those chains are permanently lubed and need...nothing. In fact, there is nothing you can do that will lube them. Still, they have a panoply of lotions and potions.