Originally Posted by catatonic

The best solution is to buy a monkey, give him a Steyr Scout rifle, and train him in sniper training.

Keep him in a special pannier bag on your rear rack, and give him plenty of bananas...and don't forget taking him to the zoo for the occaisional booty call, never irritate a monkey that can pick you off from 400 yards.

....when you need to secure your bike, let him do his job.

Simian Security, for times when you just gotta go bananas on a fool.