AFAIK, the difference between wheelsmith and dt butting is whether the butt comes in a jump or a gradual taper. I've always used dt competition with good results.

For rims, get something that is not anodized, as it will be liss likely to crack, and won't wear away at the braking surface. Silver (natural metal color) is best when you run a brake. I've only ever built on CR18's, and Mavic MA40s, so I can't speak on rim quality for large people. I can say however that for your first build, get rims that don't have a pronounced seam, as it is annoying when working on the vertical true. Sun rims are especially bad with the seam, but this only matters in building, and not in riding.

Lastly, no wheel is ever completely "bomb proof." The whole point of wheel building is gaining autonomy over a part of the technology that you enjoy/rely upon. Once you build, you will know how to true.

Hubs: I like loose ball, but there are no well-sealed loose ball track hubs out there. Something about cartridges just doesn't sit right. Call me retro. Anything above suzue jr and you're fine though.