After I had been shaving my legs for about a week, I thought I'd give Nair a try, (no stubble, no missed spots, lasts almost a week). I read the directions and precautions, attached the "hands-free" applicator and stepped into the tub to get started. Unfortunately, the directions made no mention of doing just one leg at a time. However the precautions do warn you not to leave it on for more than ten minutes.

The first thing I noticed was that the "hands-free" applicator is a worthless piece of crap so I had to use my hands to slather on the cream. In using my hands, some of it got on my forearm. Not wanting to sport a bald spot amongst my hairy arms, I made the decision to just cover my arms completely.

By this time, I had passed the recommended three-five minute window of having the gunk on my legs. I started to remove the lotion, which at this point was only causing a tingle. This is when I learned that the "bladeless shaver" is also a worthless piece of crap. As I was standing there trying to figure out what to do, the tingle began to feel more like a slight burning. So, I yelled down the hall for my wife. My son yelled back that she was on the front porch. (Trying not to sound too distressed) "Please tell her to come here!"

I heard my wife come into the house, chatting on the phone with someone. The problem was that she didn't seem to be getting any closer to the bathroom, so I yelled down the hall again. She opened the door, had an initial look of surprise on her face and then sat down to just start laughing at me. "Mom, I have to describe the scene in our bathroom, right now..."

She began to tell her mom what I was doing. Meanwhile the slight burning on my thighs was quickly shifting toward raging, screaming, torturous pain. I interrupted her with something along the lines of, "I'm glad you are both getting some good yuks out of this, but please help me. My legs are on fire!"

I told her that I couldn't figure out how I was supposed to get all this done in the under-ten-minute time frame. Through here chuckles, she called me a dumba$$ and informed me that I should have done it one limb at a time.

She grabbed a scrunchie and I got my chemically-burned legs cleared of the heinous tonic. As I rinsed everything off, she said she wanted to help with an area I had missed on the back of my upper thigh. She began applying the lotion and I could feel her getting a little close to areas that should never be exposed to caustic chemicals. I expressed my concern, in what I thought was a discrete manner. However, upon my return to the living room, my nine year old daughter asked, "Dad, what's your perianal area?"

"Ask your mother."

EPILOGUE:
It took more than a week for my legs to heal. My pores each had their own tiny scabs and my skin ended up peeling like it had been sunburned.

On the recommendation of several women, at work, I'm now using a Schick Quattro for women and Gillette Satin Care shaving gel. That combination, along with exfoliating on the days between shaving has worked out well. Now my wife shaves more often because she refuses to be married to a man whose legs are smoother than hers.