I'm guessing part of the problem is the brake cable is adjusted too tight and the brakes too hard to pull for you. Try letting out some cable-- this might do the trick.

Those smaller Crane Creek levers are very nice-- I have smaller hands and I love them.

Trekking bars are cheap if you wish to try this route-- although changing the stem might be a better method for you (you are happy with the bar-end shifters?)

I'd start with these things and keep making changes until you're happy.