Why not take your next battle to the playground where you can pursue several of your favorite pastimes; watching children, observing suspicious (in your fevered imagination) activity, and whining to the authorities to take some action to stop some activity which you don't approve, or better yet, taking action yourself.

Look at all these children recklessly running about, climbing up to heights where a fall might cause grievious harm (without helmets no less!), many may have visible bruises. Some even have skinned knees, no telling how that might have happened! . Might even catch some smoking in the boy's room. Turn 'em all in. Turn in their wicked irresponsible parents too for either allowing such dangerous activity or for not being there where you could have assaulted/punished them on the spot. Be yourself don't hold back -Be the Dud who Does Right among the sea of sinners.

What a Bozo! and Proud of it!