From Portland.
Monster Truck kill bike.
A critical mass participant was nearly run over by an aggressive motorist on Grand Ave. He escaped only at the expense of his beloved orange Peugeot, which fell victim to three-foot tires and an enlarged ego.
In a symbolic(and literal) victory of US aggression over European pleas for peace and progressive policy, a 1970's-era orange Peugeot road bike was run over by silver, king-cab, long-bed monster truck Chevrolet(license#ZEH364) at the intersection of Grand Avenue and SE Belmont as part of a pro-peace Critical Mass ride.
Several riders attempted to halt the driver in order to make the roads safer for cyclists and all other traffic, but the driver dismissed them as a "spineless debating club". More cyclists gathered in front of the vehicle as he inched his way forward with no regard for the 200+ riders with whom he shared the road.
"We must confront cyclists, pedestrians, and fuel-efficient cars with resolve," shouted the motorist from his perch ten feet above the roadway. "By backing down, we only play into the hands of cyclo-terrorists, maniacal bus riders, and un-patriotic drivers of Japanese hybrids. Evil shall not triumph."
Cyclists tried to reason with the motorist, but the diplomatic voices were drowned out by the revving of his ten-cylinder diesel engine. With a final push on the gas pedal before shifting into gear, the driver had delivered his ultimatum to the cyclists.
"We must rid the roads of these vehicles-of-less-consumption once and for all so that streets will again be safe for drivers of large American cars. By acting now, we are ushering in a new era where Ford and General Motors prevail, so that all citizens of the world can enjoy the privilege of increased horsepower and an elevated roadway status."
With these words, the motorist made good on his promises and pushed forward with his plans. As cyclists, pedestrians, motorists, and police watched with horror, the truck rolled forward, and the bicycle met its death beneath the wheels of the Chevy, the owner of the bike narrowly escaping a similar fate.
:confused: