I'm not sure if anyone can really help with this. But I often find that organizing my thoughts enough to post them helps me figure things out.

Yesterday, I had to put my 10-year-old cat to sleep because of illness. I'm taking it very hard. I didn't realize I felt so strongly about that big snuggly fur ball. I'm sure going to miss him.

I am not sure I will be able to concentrate sufficiently to ride a bike in traffic. The ability to just let go is one thing I like about biking. But I fear those times will be dominated by Tuxedo memories for the next few days. I wonder if I will be too distracted to ride safely.

I'm going to ride some today on a MUP without cars in hopes to get a better handle on my concentration. I'm not sure how well I can gauge from that. The MUP is pretty busy so I don't get those 10 minutes alone stretchs when it's just me and my thoughts. Those are the times that I fear. But the MUP ride will certainly make me feel better.