dalmore,
Don't be embarrassed about loving your cat. I've had to put a beloved dog down and that was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. I also know it was the right decision because he no longer suffering. I cried like a big baby, so much for the big bad tough cop. One thing that helped me was to read the Rainbow Bridge. It is so true not just for dogs, but for cats. Some say that since animals have no soul they can't go to Heaven and I can't believe that. I can't believe that God gives us pets that love us unconditionally that are just gone when they die. I have no doubt I will see Harley in the future. Hang in there, and enjoy the memories of all that was good that you both shared.