Yeah, optimistic, we must put a stop to this...

madnomad, go post your drivel elsewhere... There will be no discussion of bicycle* theft at BikeForums.net unless there is a serious threat of using deadly force against the infidel** who stole from you the most important thing in life.

Unless discussion of various barbaric acts are described at ever-escalating cruelty, with bloody details, you must not mention anything that interferes with cycling*** in these forums.

It is attitudes like yours that would allow a bicycle thief to escape with only paying a fine, making restitution and having a permanent record of theft, or maybe some jail time... How can we protect these bikes, which are worth more than someone else's life, with attitudes like this?


Footnotes:

* Bicycle: The one and only holy item that is worthy of invoking violence. Not only are bicycles as a class of vehicles to be protected at all costs, but if one specific bicycle is stolen or damaged, it must be avenged as if there aren't millions of others waiting to take its place, available at hundreds of thousands of retail locations around the world.

** Infidel: Any person or animal who interferes with a single moment of another's cycling, whether intentionally or unintentionally, is an infidel and has abandoned any rights to life, liberty or the pursuit of happiness. A bicyclist can not be an infidel, unless the bicyclist is not riding a bicycle at the time of their wicked act.

** Cycling: The one and only holy act.