Commandant: Well, cadets, it's been a great year. You've all worked
very hard developing academic skills and general killing
skills.

Bart: [aside to Lisa] My killing teacher says I'm a natural.

Commandant: But these skills are nothing without courage and stamina.
Traditionally, the academy tested these virtues by pitting
you against each other in a two-day battle royale.

[the cadets gasp]

That was prior to 1957, thank you very much state Supreme
Court. Consequently now, no cadet can receive a passing
grade for the academic year without first conquering this:

[gestures to a field overgrown with thorny bushes. At
either end of the field are two platforms mounted on high
poles. A rope is strung between each platform]

Meet the Eliminator. That's a 150-foot hand-over-hand
crawl across a sixty-gauge hemp-jute line with a blister
factor of twelve. The rope is suspended a full forty feet
over a solid British acre of old-growth Connecticut Valley
thorn bushes.

[turns to cadets]

Gentlemen, welcome to flavor country.

Lisa: This wasn't in the brochure.