::yawn::

Yeah, you youngsters and your newfangled "friction shifters" and "cup-and-cone bottom brackets". Why, back in the day, we only had one gear and that's all we needed, and it was on one big ol' wheel. Why bother with a bottom bracket. Wassat? Can't get up on that thing? Tough cookies -- go back to ridin' school, lad, and learn how to do it right. You want some fancy paintin' scheme? Sure, any color you like, long as you like black. Or something like that. These days it's all just one big conspiracy to get us to buy new junk that doesn't last and costs too much, bla bla bla.

</retro-Retro Grouch>