Lets just say, this is the absolutely most brilliant thread anyone has made on mtbr. For those of you who don't know, pete fagerlin is justsomeguy, john galt, and hank rearden.
http://forums.mtbr.com/showthread.php?t=54564
For those of you who are confused- the usernames in this play are people from the mtbr forums.
It's called "New fall TV show: Fagerlin Knows Best"
Props to hollywood from mtbr for making me laugh hysterically. FYI- I'm not trying to start a flame thread, I just found this hilarious.
We open on a cozy dining room in a well-appointed house in northern California. The Fagerlin family sits down to an abundant dinner of roast chicken, steamed brown rice, mixed veggies and a baguette of designer bread. A bottle of fine Napa wine finishes off the bounty.
Mrs. Fagerlin (to Pete): "Honey, would you like a leg or a breast?"
Pete: "are we talking about the chicken?"
(insert laughter)
Mrs. Fagerlin: "Honey! Not in front of Petey Jr.!"
the Fagerlins all dine on their dinner and beverages...
Mrs. Fagerlin: "So how was work today honey?"
Pete: "Well, it was going ok until Adam's dog died"
Petey Jr.: "I like doggies!"
Mrs. Fagerlin: "Oh I'm so sorry, have I met Adam?"
Pete: "No, you haven't. He, um, posts on MTBR"
Mrs. Fagerlin: "what's MTBR?"
Pete: "It's a message board on the internet for cyclists, but this nimrod thought he could use it as a substitute for real friends and family, it had NOTHING to do with bikes. Nothing."
Mrs. Fagerlin: "oh, but you know him from riding?"
Pete: "Um, no, we've never met"
Petey Jr.: "Why did the doggie have to die, daddy?"
Pete: "That's not important kid. What is important is that these lame, sniveling newbies don't understand what true cycling passion is all about."
Mrs. Fagerlin: "Please pass the chic....."
Pete: "HANG ON LADY! So then 'Singletrack' makes some comment about cars and man I put him right in his place by telling him that it's WHO posts that matters. If it's the owner of the site, then it's cool, so then I call him a 'D!ck'.
Mrs. Fagerlin: "Honey, your langua....."
Pete: "Quiet!" So then 'ronny' snipes at me and BAM! I call him an a$$hole and move on to the next loser. Who wants some? I guess it's Soupboy, who I reduce to tears by calling him 'Soupchild'. BOOYA! Now I'm hitting my stride - it's beautiful! I'm untouchable! I dispatch SDtrailblazer with a swift "LOL" and "Boo Hoo", LocoMan chimes in and I take him out with a "ROTFLMAO", and then..."
Petey Jr.: "Daddy what's "ROTFL..."
Pete: "eat your chicken, junior"
we cut to Mrs. Fagerlin who is obviously uncomfortable and is thinking about how to get out of the situation that's developing at the table.
Pete: "Well looky here, if it isn't Donkey, asking to step into the House of Pain...."
Mrs. Fagerlin: "Petey, come with mommy for a minute to the bathroom, you need to blow your nose"
Petey Jr. "ok mommy"
Pete continues to boast of his debate victories as Mrs. Fagerlin and Petey Jr. now make a mad dash for the garage. Pete hears the engine of his Porsche rev up and races to see what's going on.
Petey Jr.: "Where are we going mommy? Where's daddy?"
Mrs. Fagerlin: "Daddy isn't feeling too well right now so we're going to spend some time with grandma"
Just then Pete bursts into the garage, nostrils flared and eyes bulging.
Mrs. Fagerlin: "Jesus! Petey lock your door!"
Petey Jr. (crying): "what's wrong with daddy, why does he look like that?"
Mrs. Fagerlin: "sometimes grown-ups lose track of their priorities honey, daddy needs help."
Mrs. Fagerlin races the Porsche down the street and out of the nice, otherwise quiet neighborhood. We cut to Pete standing in the driveway, shouting "BUT THEY'RE ALL INFERIOR A$$HOLES!!!!!! AND THEY CAN'T SPELL......"
and we disolve to black.
stay tuned for scenes from next week's episode where Pete breaks into the office at the mental ward to log on to MTBR....
I'd also like to add in kanaka's interpretation of pete's world.
