Here's the trick:

So long as you don't appoint yourself as an authority on anything, the self-appointed authorities of authority regulation won't come knocking on your door.

See, by saying this, I've appointed myself as an authority on identifying authority regulators, and will likely be investigated. This is sure to create a recursive mess that will implode some fabric of the universe, or at the very least, pollute this thread with comments that attempt to.

I'm feeling a little cranky today.