Update: JB Weld did not work. I let it set up for 20 hours or so, but it still just kind of squooshed everywhere when I went to try it.

Stripped bolt extractor did not work. I drilled a hole into the bolt and then started using the extractor, and it broke at the tip. So now there is a tip of a bolt exctractor in the hole in my bolt.

Tomorrow I'm just going to use a dremel and just cut off the entire bolt or something. I'll rig something up and borrow a lock nut from my front wheel and run a different front wheel until I can get a replacement. This is such a pain in the ass.

And of course, the patch that I had in the tube held for a while, but I really need a new back tire, so the entire bike is out for a bit.

Looks like I'm probably not racing tomorrow. Seriously people, don't let me touch your bike.