Airless tyres suck, they're super-heavy and personally I think they're dangerous due to the lower amounts of grip and bump-absorption.
"I've tried slime, thin tubes, thorn resistant tubes and kevlar tires. All have a tendency to go flat if not sooner than later. Almost always pinch flats,"
Those measures will help with thorns, glass, puncture type flats, but they will do absolutely zip for pinched-flats. If you're getting pinched flats, you need more pressure. For your weight, you need to get some 28-32mm tyres and use them at 100-130psi. Your teeth fillings may fall out, but you won't get any pinched flats.
Pinched flats are caused by running over objects with an edge, like a kerb, a pothole, or a rock that focuses your weight on a small area and pinches the tyre down to the rim. The rim-edge then cuts through the tube onto the obstacle. Don't hit those things. Look 50-75ft in front of the bike when you're riding, DO NOT look up at the sky or the horizon all the time like you're driving. You won't reach that spot for another 30-45 minutes, meanwhile, you'll have ridden over a bunch of garbage that'll flat your tyres.