jpearl

Face it; it's just not a true bicycle race unless Phil Ligget and Paul Sherwin are calling the action. As a fan for almost 20 years, I've become familiar with the voices and styles of these two entertaining Brits. It's fair to say that sometimes they even commentate the voices in my head as a navigate a busy Manhattan sidewalk or work in mad pursuit of a deadline (yes, I am pathetic!). Either way though, over the years I've become familiar with thier standard lines. Here are some of my favorites, what are yours?

"He's dancing on the pedals"

"This man is ON form"

"They call these mountains the circle of the dead men, and there will certainly be many dead men across the board tonight"

"Can you believe THAT?"

"Don't look back now Boogard, you want to know who's chasing you, well you best believe, EVERYBODY is!"

"C'mon Laurent!"

RockyMtnMerlin

Since I was in the Navy for 20 years, my favorite is, "Bridge to engine room; more power!"

EventServices

from the 1980s. "Nice suntan, Lotto man. Pity it's not all over."

RockyMtnMerlin

Okay, I give up. About whom was he speaking?

roadgator

"ulrich is churning a MASSIVE gear!"

"are you coming? the answer is no."

wabbit

Phil and paul bingo....

My fave is "Spot of bother".

Does anyone remember those funny spots from the Vuelta a couple of years ago? It was an ad for a phil and paul webchat and they used the bingo... this group of guys were watching the vuelta and playing PNP bingo."CROSSED SWORDS!" It was very clever.

During the tour this year, i watched on Evasion (in french) so no phil and paul, but the same live coverage. At one point, one of the commentators said, "Well, the carrots are cooked for T-Mobile!" I love that expression.

EventServices

Not sure who Lotto Man was. I'd have to consult the old 1985 or 1986 tapes. It's of that vintage.

Another one from that same montage: "Sunflowers? They grow well 'round here. Now I know why."

Sincitycycler

"He's a beast of a man on the bike!"

Jake B

I thought it was pretty gunny when Phil(I think it was him) described Basso as a Rabid Dog

Starclimber

Paris-Roubaix, 1984: Time has blurred this memory a bit, but Phil identifies a mud spattered rider..."and there's Sean Kelly, with his typical goatee of filth" or words to that effect. Man, I laughed. Theo de Rooy was interviewed as well, and after describing how you have to 'piss yourself' on the bike was asked if he'd be back next year..."of course! It's the most beautiful race in the world!"

I saw Elvis

Wow, far too many to list or even remember (and its got to be almost 20 years of listening to Phil), see below for my favoirites from 2005 - a truely classic year from cyclings premier broadcasters.

DieselDan

Phil, working solo for OLN: So that's how it's done in Georgia! From the '04 Tour de Georgia when an unknown Jittery Joe's rider stomped Lance Armstrong up Brasstown Bald.

YMCA

"He's thrown a cat amongst the pigeons." (Anytime someone is giving the peloton some stick)

"And Argentin rides up next to him, as if to say, are you serious?" (After a lame, going-nowhere attack by somebody on the Poggio)

jpearl

That bingo is AWESOME!!! I totally forgot about "Argy Bargy". You have to add in "Zabel (name of another rider) Zabel (name of still another rider) Zabel (name of yet another rider) Zabel takes it on the line, that was so desperately close. Can you believe THAT!"

wabbit

Another gem: when they're about to hit the koppenberg "And now, your nose will touch the ground!" They also say that about some other really steep climbs, meaning it's so steep that if you stand on it your nose will touch the ground. Or "a narstee beast of a climb", usually describing the Angliru, the Mortirolo, Ventoux, etc.

cosmo_the_third

Phil:
"...and Bo Hamburger is, I dare to say it, fried."

"Bernard Hinault is storming up this col in a gear most riders reserve for the flats."

Paul:
"And so the break has decided that discretion is the better part of valour and they're going to let up and let the group catch them here."

DieselDan

Classic.

roadwarrior

ITT...

"Armstrong is coming down the finishing straight like a Grand Prix motorcar!"

gcasillo

"Tackled by the sleeping policeman."

wagathon

"I think it will be difficult for these guys to survive . . . they will probably be pulled in."

"No riders of importance have gone down."

"He's just gone out in front to get a little TV time."

DannoXYZ 

How about a "stupid commentators" thread? Some of the sh*t that came out of Sam Posey's mouth was so completely ludicrous that it's funny!

thewalrus

I forget who they were talking about, it might have been Mancebo struggling on a 2005 TDF mountain stage:

"He's all over that bike like a crab"

YMCA

Probably Guiseppe Guerinni from T-Mobile when he was winning solo in the last 2 kilometers from a long 4 man break. He looks awful on the bike with his legs flailing to the sides looking for more power.

Fernando Escartin was very similar and they used to talk of him quite the same.

merlinextraligh

(Fill in blank) is a very good bike rider.

the elastic has broken.

jpearl

Agreed! Understanding of cycling is like second nature to Ligget and Sherwin, they've done it and live it to this day (Ligget still insists that he can take Sherwin in a sprint). L&S are also Europeans, where people follow cycling the way that Americans follow games like Baseball or "College hoops". Posey tried to imitate the overly dramatic tones of CBS's coverage of the Tour de France and Paris Roubaix in the mid to late 80s, which included those great soundtracks by John Tesch. Whereas L&S talk cycling in a comfortable manner similar to some guys hanging out in an American bar talking about the Sunday football games, Posey sounds like some guy on a nervous interview with cycling fans trying to gain thier attention and approval, not realizing that that especially these days we've moved beyond CBS well-produced coverage to OLN's live action excitement.

Oh yeah, another L&S classic:
"...but I don't think they'll survive to the finish"

Here's Sherwin describing the middle of the Arenburg trench in Paris Roubaix:
"It's absolutely disgusting down there"