I've been logging some longer rides on the trainer this winter, and taking in more solid food than ever. Currently, I'm trying turkey/swiss cheese on wheat bread, which seems to give a good mix of protien, and carbohydrates. Unfortunately, it also produces some very audible flatulence.

I cant remember ever being 'farted on' at 25mph+, but what do you do if you have to let a big one rip?

Do you move out the pace-line, similar to clearing your nose? Or, do you just keep on going, but maybe give the guy behind you some warning?

I honestly don't know how to handle this, and would hate to cross some un-spoken boundry.

yup, it's officially winter training season.

I've had my mouth farted in, in a two-man break for our weekend ride. It's not fun.

fredelicious thread.

It's a tactic. Kind of like speed racer dropping oil off the back, the noxious fumes are there to choke you so you can't keep up.

Do it in a hot, sweaty spin class for greater appreciation.

well alrighty then.

What's worse is that my fan is behind my trainer. The efficacy of any infraction is immediately known. My wife thought the fan behind the back was a good idea, until she saw me 'lean to the right.' She was speechless after that.

Been there done that. On long road races I have also gone to the back to take a piss which I can do while riding (unless it is raining- then I just go wherever).
Farting should be the least of your issues they are juicy.

I recommend lentil soup. And plenty of cheese.

I prefer Dal. Having some before a ride is a great way of keeping the wheelsuckers away.

I think bean chili would do a better job of it than dal.

Yes.

Our team kits are nice and white in the front... would be hard to discount the nuclear glow of B vitamins as sweat...

Also, unless your hung like a donkey, I see it hard to roll up a leg far enough to actually have lee-way in where you aim. I assume this tactic is limited to the genectically gifted?

I had lentils with fresh garlic cloves for dinner last night.

/Facepalm.

Just try to make sure it's quiet and pretend it wasn't you.

Doing audible wind on a climb with no-one behind you is acceptable however - every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

If it is a large fart (1L of gas) let out quickly (1 second) firing 1 metre downwards, your additional power on the climb could be along the lines of

1.2kg/m^3 - density of air
1000 cubic cm (cc) - 1L of gas
1,000,000 cc - 1m^3

weight of fart = 1.2kg *1,000/1,000,000 = 0.0012kg

Force (kJ) = 0.0012 x 9.81 x 1 = 0.011772kJ

if you were pushing out 200W at the time, your fart will improve your efficiency by 0.005886%.

Of course if you could train up your farting ability, you could improve you climbing efficiency further.

I'd wait until a dog gets loose and chases. Then I would blame the dog.

I can't wait until my 6 year old is big enough to join me on group rides. I usually blame him.

I've seen a few of the older guys on our rides wear these before. Maybe that explains why they never take 'natural' breaks....

Secrets of Endurance Racing Tip #225

take BEANO . . .

Perhaps you need these guys:

And decrease the efficiency of those who are in the blast radius immediately behind you.