Agreed...

Don't worry, I don't see it as a downer. I'm a realist and the writing is on the wall. I have things I need to change, but she needs to figure stuff out herself and that's the real issue.

What's the real pisser is we are about 4months away from being mortgage free and I has seen this as a real good chance to relax, enjoy life a bit, save a lot for the future so that we could really enjoy the golden years.

I guess I do somethings right and somethings wrong.

I think I said I was going to do the barbacoa from the grass-fed beef 1/2 I just bought yesterday, well, I'm acutally doing it today. It's been on the grill for about 4 hours. I'll give it another couple...going low and slow. I just grabbed a taste. Wow, this is going to be _really_ good. I have to get it all stripped before anyone gets home, because if they figure out that barbacoa is cow's head they'll never touch it.

You lied to us....
















You are now dead to me...

This.

That's going to put you in line with the rest of my household.

These two points are important. Your partner shouldn't need you to make their lives better (and vice versa). You should both want each other to be a part of your individual lives in order to enhance it. Eg: I ride my bike a lot, and my gf actively supports me doing so. I have hobbies that she's not into, but she makes an effort to try them and support me doing them, regardless. I do the same for her because I'm genuinely interested in the things she is passionate about.

I'm still young compared to most on this board, but I've had my fair share of relationships in my adult life. Some fleeting, some long-lasting (but ultimately failed); most somewhere in between. I'm in a healthy, positive, relationship with someone I love and respect (close to 2 years at this point and it's only getting better). I did this by making sure the things Fudgy were satisfied and continue to be a focal point in our relationship. This along with strong, open communication are what make my relationship work.

Again, this is my own experience/opinion/etc. No one can tell you what a healthy relationship should look like for you, but I think the above is a pretty good starting point.

But so few women seem to have the capability of sustaining this...

I would agree with you based only on my own (very small) circle of female friends. The majority would fall into the codependent category and I find that really annoying (can't do anything without their spouse permission, no interests of their own, resentful of their husbands hobbies etc). Which is why I have mostly male friends.
I tend to fall way in the other direction. I'm independent to a fault! Some would say selfish.
Luckily my husband of 18 years understands this about me, he probably doesn't always like it but he tolerates me pretty well :p

Good points here and above (also married 18 years)...



but...

Oh man, another lob for waki. Is he at the plate?

http://www.clipartguide.com/_named_c...part_image.jpg

The thing is, she has to get herself right first. Give therapy time. This will come out. She will open up when she is ready.

Best of luck to you.

Been married 12 years, we do our own thing about 70% of the time. I couldn't stand someone that followed me around like a puppy. I do try to regulate my big training blocks; tacking on 20 hours a week on top of your job puts its toll on any relationship.

It also helps my training that my wife travels 30 weeks out of the year.

On that note,

Since my wife has given two frequent flyer tickets to her relatives for family emergences, there is now a growing list of relatives who are angry at us for not giving them free tickets for trivial matters. Some people make it really hard to be nice...

@rbart4506
Sorry I can't offer any real advice here, marriages ebb and flow and there are inevitable points of discomfort in any relationship. Especially ones that go over 5 years. The best thing to do is just put in an effort and hope for the best.

Good luck, rbart.

A quick collarbone update. Ended up going in for surgery yesterday. Turned out to be a more complex break than originally diagnosed, in several more pieces than appeared on X-Ray. So a 2-hour procedure became a 4-hour procedure. Under the circumstances, I think doing the repair was the right idea. I'm pretty loopy on painkillers at the moment, hopefully I'll start getting comfortable fairly soon. I think I'm going to be stir-crazy by the time I can get back on my bike.

Lance got back on the bike just a few days after his broken collarbone, and I read in his book he just believed in himself. All you have to do is believe...

I'm assuming grolby isn't getting much of a paycheck for his bike racing. Rest. If you want to stick your bike in a trainer and pedal slowly for a bit every day, then enjoy. Don't worry about 'training'.

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Sorry, rbart, sounds tough.

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I got a lot less meat off that cow's head than I thought. Bummer. I guess it's going to mainly be for me.

I'm glad you're doing well. Good luck in the recovery process and remember to take it easy and build slowly. You have a weak link right now and if you push too hard too fast it will give and be a problem for a good long while.

It doesn't hurt matters that you probably had a helluva surgeon do the procedure given your current coordinates!

Correct; the timing of this is such that rushing to get back on the bike would be supremely pointless. I'll get to training for 2014 when I've been cleared and feel good and ready to get back to it.

Good luck with the recovery, Grolby. When I had surgery on my shoulder I gained 35 pounds, stayed off the bike for more than 6 months and ate a lot of ice cream.

Man, the day after was the worst for me. Glad you are past that, and now that everything is lined up right you can finally begin healing. In 2 weeks you'll be like 75% better. In a month you'll be set. With so many breaks the surgery was definitely the right choice.

Heal up.

I was on the trainer 3 days after. On the road 9 and 10 days after respectively. apply hgh, cortisone, whatever else and who knows...

Thanks for the words guys...

You've given me lots to think about for sure...

Had a good solo ride tonight, head was surprisingly clear...

just checked the minutes. that's really cool. i know there was talk of this last year, so it's good to see it come to fruition. maybe one day i'll be a cat 2...maybe.

Heal up grolby. You'll be on the trainer in no time.