I had my bike locked outside against the gate of my apt during the day. When I came back, there was a guy sawing the lock. I asked him if he lost his key and needed help cutting it. He said,"uhh.. yes." So i walked up and kicked him in the ribs and slammed his face into the mulch next to my bike. Since he pretty much went through the lock with his saw, I took the U portion and smacked him in the face with it. I still have his tooth. Cheers and god bless!

*just kidding... but my bike did get stolen during broad daylight and I played this in my head... i need help*