SPD user here. So far no problems in the three years (~8,000 miles) I've been using them while commuting. I commute on a touring bike or a tandem two or three times a week, with the ride being between 12 and 30 miles OW and the route being suburban-small urban on the San Francisco peninsula. I have the tension set very low on the pedals and so far there has not been an emergency stop where I haven't been able to snap out safely (much to the relief of my stoker). In the first week of having clipless I did have one stop light 0-mph fall over, but that happened my first week with clips and straps as well.
For shoes, my wife (the aforementioned stoker) and I have Shimano models M033, M035, and M036. They are the general-purpose designs, with plenty of sole and heel for off-bike walking. In one of our commute scenarios I would take the train after leaving my wife and the tandem at her office, and have a one-mile walk to my work from the train station. The shoes are comfortable in such a situation, don't wear down, and the cleat is recessed enough to protect itself and most floor surfaces.