I don't ususally reply to threads like this, but I've consciously been fighting this impulse for a few years now, since it suddenly occurred to me that screaming at people who cut you off etc is just another act of violence, which of course, begets only violence.

I'm sure many have noticed that any time people do dumb stuff driving, no matter how ridiculous, they'll usually start screaming at you, or at least get aggressive if you try to talk to them (the old, excuse me sir/madam, but you...).

I think the only way is the jesus/zen way - be conscious of what's going on around you and lead by example and let it all flow off you. It's hard to resist sometimes, and two highspeed and totally stupid moves by drivers this year caused me to lose it and chase them screaming, one of whom drove away fast and recklessly down a residential street in my neighborhood (nice move!).

The other was as extremely upset as I'd hoped I'd provoke (by judging his linguistic and cultural heritage by his appearance, natch) by saying something culturally taboo - I was shaking with adrenaline after this driver pulled suddenly between construction dividers to pull a u less than 20 feet in front of me into the long downhill lane of reduced width that was otherwise clear with no stops for a half a kilometer, and the only reason I didn't hit him at somewhere near my top speed was at the last second he heard me screaming hysterically "HEY" and stopped to let me squeeze between his bumper and the 18 inches or so of space remaining. I've never picked a fight in my life, and at the next stop, I dared him to get out of the car, and he dared me to repeat what I said as he reached his shaking hand into his glove compartment. Then clarity came through and I just left, but I kept my eyes peeled for silver late model Hyundais for a few weeks, since I'm extremely visible between my size, my bike and my helmet, and I seriously though that if he saw me again he'd go to clip me.

Nice move - we both left hysterically angry, shaking with rage, freaking out, probably driving badly, and me with yet another thing to add to my mental traffic calculations. What a great move to increase the peace between drivers and cyclists, and taxi drivers and people who look like bike messengers in particular. In my rage/near death brain, violent retaliation was the only possible solution, but it only made everything worse for everyone.

The hardest thing to let go of in these situations is the rage/violence, and it takes real work to do it. In my own experience, it's mostly like what people say about quitting smoking - if you can get your mind off it for a second, it will pass, but if you don't try at all, it will get worse and fill you to blindness, which most people just run with, since that feeling of anger is in a sense you telling yourself you're right. It's also self-defeating since there isn't really a possible positive outcome.

The hardest thing is to realize that this kind of rage is something that you also have to put work into, probably the same amount of work it takes to resist it. For me personally, paying attention to how often I wanted to freak out/scream/lecture etc when I was personally in a rough space was enlightening, as it was essentially directly proportional.

And note I'm not suggesting being passive, letting people "get away" with stuff, but you'll get a lot more done by working even harder to take your lane, ride consistently in a straight line, signalling, checking your speed, being visible, and otherwise fighting back by increasing love instead of anger.

Ha, I just said increasing love.