LOL! That's funny!

I live on the border of Lancaster and Chester County and usually head west towards Lancaster for rides. The back country roads are awesome for spending a couple hours spinning. The terrain is mostly rolling with some decent hills thrown in here or there.
The Lancaster Bike Club has a page of cue sheets you can check out if you want to drive his far. CLICK HERE FOR CUE SHEETS

West Chester Cycling Club has cue sheets on their website as well which would be closer to you. CLICK HERE FOR THOSE CUE SHEETS

Good luck on finding some new destinations!

Gypsy