Hmmm. That sounds like the wrong attitude to this stoker. I'm guessing you didn't intend it, but it seems a mite condescending. This will be a learning experience for BOTH you and your stoker. Why not say, "I know we're both going to laugh a lot while we figure this tandeming thing out."? You've gotten some good suggestions from others: have an experienced captain show you the ropes and communicate -- as in: listen to and believe your stoker.

Tandeming will highlight the good and bad parts of your relationship with your stoker. And, since stokers are not identical in responding to the tandem experience (although this particular thread is nearly devoid of stoker postings so the captains can make it seem like we stokers are monolithic in our experiences and reactions), our suggestions may or may not be helpful for your particular situation.

For me, I LOVE riding with my captain, getting some great exercise, chatting about our surroundings, zooming around our gorgeous cities, lakes and rivers, and laughing -- a lot. I also holler loudly when I get scared or surprised by stuff like unexpected turns or stops, but that's how our relationship works off the bike as well. One of the things I really appreciate is that my captain deliberately plans things I enjoy such as visits to a new coffee shop or a favorite lunch spot. Maybe your stoker has things she would enjoy: a picnic, a ride through her favorite state park, etc.

I generally find that captains who are interested enough to ask the questions you're asking make excellent captains and, consequently, their stokers discover just how wonderful time on a tandem can be. Good luck and let us know how it goes!